When Elsie, mum and I took a turn about the garden - so refreshing!

And Elsie with her mate Lily.

We are having quite a lazy day today, after lots of yomping around yesterday (including registering to get married!!!! Elsie even charmed a very serious registrar – she was trying so hard to be staid but she just couldn’t keep it up when Elsie turned on her charms!)

Elsie had risotto for the first time today – leftovers from last night’s lovely meal with A&Z. She was pretty unappreciative to be honest – even when I explained that people come from far and wide just for a taste of my famous risotto. Hmmm… so I ate most of it myself. We have changed her formula to the one ‘for hungrier babies’ as she seemed so ravenous most of the time, so maybe it’s just that that’s filling her up.

Here is Elsie with Granny up in Yorkshire.

Elsie has taken to eating rather than reading the paper these days (well, it is the Telegraph!)

Elsie with her beloved great Granmary.

Elsie looking gorgeous on her bumbo!

Elsie and the lovely Erin Doto at Auntie Katie's house.

Up early again today – bloody parrot! But it’s nice to have a potter round before Elsie wakes up.

This is a piccie of Elsie in the bosom of the Caig family a few weeks ago.

Feeling quite melancholy today – maybe it’s the grey rainy weather and maybe it’s the thought of my increasingly imminent return to work. Psychologically it is going to take quite some preparation I think, but then maybe there isn’t actually any preparation that I can do, and I just have to get on with it and deal with it as it happens.

It is partly the fact that it sounds like work has changed a lot in the time I’ve been away, but that is not the main thing, as I am actually looking forward in lots of ways to getting back to it. I am just going to miss her so much, and miss this gorgeous time in my life. I always wanted to have a baby, always always, but I don’t think I knew how wonderful it would be in so many ways. It’s not just that I love her so much (although I do, so much sometimes I feel as though my eyeballs are going to explode out of my head, cause my body can’t contain so much overwhelming love!) but she is so good for me – we have so much fun, she makes me laugh, she is good for the soul with her joyful anarchic ways! And even when it’s difficult, it’s not difficult like other things are difficult – with everything else hard in life there is a knowledge that if it became too much you could just not do it anymore – and that isn’t the case with looking after her. She needs us and so we have to take care of her, and it’s that simple. Even back in the getting up 5 times a night days there was no element of maybe this is getting too hard – you just do what you have to do. I suppose it’s that total removal of selfishness and the knowledge that, comparatively, I don’t matter anymore – it’s really liberating.

I know she will still be my baby after I go back to work, but there will be more to life again than her. And while that is right and healthy, I mourn the passing of this total immersion in the glory of my daughter. But it hasn’t passed yet! I have another three weeks to enjoy the singing and laughing and chewing of Mr Lion’s head as she hangs off her baby gym going on behind me!

There are lots more pictures of Elsie’s first eating experiences to put up now – they are so funny I couldn’t decide between them!

This picture marks the momentous occasion when Elsie ate her first carrots! (The first food other than breast milk she ever had).

This is Elsie with cousin Arthur back (when was it? I don't remember??) at Easter possibly, or was it the other bank holiday?

It feels like things are all changing very fast at the moment – mostly I think because I am weaning Elsie off breastfeeding. We are now down to just one breastfeed a day, at night, and last night there was hardly anything there so I think we’ll be stopping completely within a couple of days. Although this will be quite liberating in the sense that I won’t have to worry about what I eat and drink anymore (and no more having to wop my boobs out in public, hooray!) – it also feels very sad. It’s difficult to say why exactly, I think it is largely because it marks the end of this time in our lives – I will be going back to work soon and Elsie will be going to nursery – we won’t be each other’s whole lives anymore. I have enjoyed this time so much, and it is going to end. And also I think I have a strange sense that breastfeeding keeps her safe, and nothing bad can happen to her health wise while I continue to give her this magic strength giving elixir every day! I almost feel like by stopping this I am stopping some kind of cosmic protection – and taking the first step to letting her fend for herself.

We got millions of pictures back the other day – but first here is another of Elsie enjoying that bolognese!

Elsie is one half today! Woweeeee!

This is the picture with Granny Fi's bolognese that I promised you!

Loving Elsie is easy cause she's beautifu - hu - hul! La la la la la...

This is Elsie mid-cough. It's pretty much gone now by the way, phew!

This is Elsie when she had just been drinking from her big girl cup. It was only water honestly, I know she looks like she's been at the beers!

Well, what an exciting day we having wedding planning! I think Elsie is excited too, she keeps catching my eye and grinning! That is when she isn’t practising her new menacing nasal breathing style – her latest thing is to breath frantically through her nose for a few seconds at a time, with a grimace on her face. She also has a scratch across her cheek at the moment from where she lacerated herself (not a bad one, don’t worry) so she looks like some kind of a gangster (or indeed pirate!) – like Tony Montana (was he Scarface?) Anyway, I digress..!

I was going to write about our adventures in Wales, but it was mostly all just very relaxing and pretty uneventful (except for one thing of course!!) so maybe it’s better if I wait til we get the piccies and I’ll let them tell the story.

These pictures are from our recent trip up to Granny and Grandad’s house. This one is of Elsie in her new Bumbo seat from Auntie Katie.

My gorgeous girl.

This is Elsie with Grandad Newsome, back in April.

And one of Elsie with the gorgeous Giulia.

Hiya! Have just got back from our jollies - we have had a glorious week in Wales with wonderful and weather and best of all - Rob asked me to marry him - horray hooray!! So Elsie will be respectable soon!!

Just wanted to say hello, give the world the wonderful news and put up a couple more piccies, as I have sooo many to get through now! Will write properly about all our adventures another time (when I have more energy and I'm not half watching T&T versus Sweden - Elsie is loving it by the way, although she was a little concerned about England's lacklustre performance against Paraguay in the second half earlier - she had predicted an 8-0 trouncing) but for the moment here are some piccies. This is Elsie with the lovely Rosa in Montecchio.

Elsie with Monica in Venice.

We went up to mum and dad’s on Sunday for a few days, where we have both been thoroughly spoilt and looked after – so that was nice! It was good to catch up with friends and family – and go shopping for summer shoes (Elsie didn’t enjoy that part so much!) I went on the train because mum now has one of pretty much everything for Elsie and I don’t have to take much stuff (although of course I come back down fully laden!) Auntie Katie has bought Elsie a Bumbo seat which is great – she sat in it on the seat next to me on the train down and looked like such a big girl!

The weaning is going really well, she is very enthusiastic about her eating (don’t know where she might get that from?!) As well as all the pots of mush we have been trying, she has also sampled rocket and parmesan at Auntie Katie’s, some Bolognese sauce (photos of that to come!!), cheese on toast, dates, strawberries, cucumber – it is so exciting to see her tasting all these things for the first time. It is less exciting to change the nappies that result from these new food experiences – bluuuuuueeeeeeeeugh – so disgusting!

Yesterday we had a very full house as five of Elsie’s NCT baby buddies came round with their mums. They are all growing up so fast, we talked about the general dread of going back to work. In a way I am lucky because I really like my job, but even so it is a scary prospect – it is awful for people who don’t like what they do.

I must just mention something that happened yesterday, even though it is totally revolting. Elsie was having quite a pukey day generally, and I made the mistake of holding her above my head for a coo – and she vomited absolutely loads all over my t-shirt, which was gross enough but we mopped it all up – then later when Elsie had gone to bed and Rob and I were watching Big Brother on the sofa I noticed that my bra was full of sick which had by that time gone all crusty!!! I just wanted to share that lovely moment, as it illustrates perfectly the glamour and general gorgeousness of being a mum!

Elsie is so jolly and talkative this morning – she is sitting behind me bouncing her chair so frantically it may launch across the room at any moment.

I love this picture of her – we are on my photos of Italy now – this was in the hotel room in Venice that we stayed in the night we arrived. She was so cheerful that night! It was really late and we’d had such a long journey, but she just wanted to party the night away – I’m lucky she didn’t throw the TV out of the window in her wild revelry!