Well, yesterday was not an easy day. Elsie did an awful lot of crying, the kind that nothing can stop. She was fully fed, changed, burped and cuddled, and still the world was a terrible and hideous place that reduced her to floods of tears – then screams. It is the most unbelievably heartbreaking thing to listen to. She did it in the afternoon when I tried to get her to go down for a nap – as it is becoming apparent that she needs a good sleep then to prevent early evening grumpiness – and then it happened again when we took her to bed. She was screaming for over an hour, and in the end we just left her in her cot, as it made no difference whether we were holding her. We just went up every five minutes so she knew we hadn’t abandoned her (it is so difficult imagining how she is feeling while all this is going on) and eventually she cried herself to sleep. What a nightmare. If this is going to be a regular thing we will have to harden ourselves.

Last night was the first time I went to bed worried about being a mum, and how hard it can be. Especially considering she was having her third immunisations today.

In fact, today has been fine. She woke up as cheerful as usual, with no signs of trauma sustained from last night, and there was remarkably little crying at her jabs, so I didn’t need to worry really. It was just so difficult to see her upset, and I hate not knowing what to do for the best. I have such a strong connection with this gorgeous little person, and when she is so massively distressed it is so distressing to listen to, and I feel powerless, anxious and frustrated all at the same time.

On a lighter note… we got lots of brilliant pictures back today, from all of our adventures. This is a gorgeous one of Rob and Elsie a couple of weeks ago.